I've been doing some thinking on that issue lately. Ok, just maybe today.
As you all know, I smoke cigarettes and have for a long time...8+ years at this point. This freaks me out- that is a long time to have gone by and I barely even noticed as the years disappeared.
At this point in my life I will have to wholeheartedly admit I am addicted and that, instead of making me feel guilty anymore, makes me very, very angry. I'm pissed that I have developed such a penchant for poison and I'm even angrier that it will be a long painful process to develop better habits, and that I may always want to smoke a cigarette. Jesus! What a pain in the f*ing ass.
I don't feel all high on my horse about it today, I feel uncomfortable. I have no choice but to stop, my body tells me, but the gnawing sensation that I want something to take up the space in my hands and punctuate my moments never quits.
Friday, April 25, 2008
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So put something else in your hands to take up the space and do something else to punctuate your moments. Like a lollipop! :) No one ever said it would be easy and lately I could really use a cigarette too. (In fact the biggest reason I tell Kyle not to start is because at some point in his life he WILL realize it's a stupid/nasty habit and he will have the hardest time of his life trying to quit.) But after awile the 'gnawing sensation' comes and goes within seconds instead of gnawing at you until you finally give in and smoke. Now when I'm bored or stressed I reach for a cup of tea or a hot shower or a glass of wine or the internet or........ There really is so much at your hands to fill that space. Don't let the cigarettes control you. I've probably said this all to you before but I really do know how hard it is and I know you can do it. <3
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