rock it dont stop it

Yesterday we all piled into my mom's little Honda Element and bombed down the road to West Haven, Connecticut to visit West Haven Lumber, where our contractor friend recommended us to go to check out cabinets and countertops. Holy shit! The expense was mind boggling. If you have ever even checkout out pricing on appliances, cabinets and semi-nice countertops, the total cost will stop you dead in your happy home renovating tracks.

On our way back we spotted IKEA from the highway and pulled in- I have never been to IKEA and didn't necessarily want to because I thought the quality would be cheesy. Which it is, sometimes. But this place is a dreamworld for anyone on a budget looking for some new stuff. For one, it is f-ing huge, and you have to walk around the whole store to get to the exit (of course so you will buy more stuff as you try to escape the madness.) For two, it is effing cheap. For three, it is really fucking awesome- the designs! The colors! The styles! Oh my.

So we basically ditched the whole kitchen cabinets/countertops/ normal kitchen layout idea because we found some rockin' modern looking, free-standing pieces that our kitchen is going to be composed of.
But we won't tell you what it is until it's all done!

It is very exciting to me because the new kitchen is going to cost 1/3 of what a normal kitchen would have, and it is super cool looking- especially combined with the open layout living/sitting/dining room composed of a few key modern furniture peice. Hallelujah!

So now I have to keep in mind that the next time I want another martini, or a new shirt, or a fabulous color of eyeshadow, I am going to have to pass it up and put the money right into savings. All of the money I spend on a daily basis adds up so fast it's ridiculous, and when I think how much I could have saved already this past year it makes me ill.

P.S. Henna party coming up in two weeks... I will send out invites, but please attend even if you don't want me to henna you! I will provide fancy drinks and snacks, bitches.

oh my god does she ever stop talking about her hair

Thinking lately: "My, how trashy my red hair with blonde highlites looks, and how horribly it goes with my complexion." Red with blonde highlites is a hard look to pull off and not look completely yucky. I had the most beautiful version of this many years ago when my absolute favorite hairdresser ever, the angel Michael, was still around. Unfortunately it is next to impossible to re-create. Red itself is a hard look to get right, never mind some blonde thrown in.

So after therapy today I went to Alias salon in Northampton (the reason I chose this salon was because when I was living in NoHo, I accidentally dyed my short hair an ugly green/orange while trying acheive blonde. "Brad" from Alias was my saviour and gave me a fantastic platinum color with dark roots and a choppy cut- something that really only looks good when you are into punk and have short-short hair.) I was lucky enough to get Brad again, and he dyed my poor hair a very dark brown and on a whim I had him cut it much shorter, a really fun layered cut just above my shoulders. I was going to have it cut about 2 inches shorter, the same style, but didn't want to put myself over the edge if I ended up hating it! I do love it and am going to have to go back and have it shorter...it is so swingy and light and fresh...lots of changes are going on in my life and seeing all of that old dead long hair on the floor felt like a sign of the times.

short of where I want to be but almost there

I must say that I agree wholeheartedly with Jill on Dead Like Me...one of the best shows ever, ever, ever. It's rare to find such a show...especially one where the main female character is not totally unbelievable, perfect (with of course perfect flaws,) conventionally lovely, and just sort of NOT A SURPRISE.

Every time I get sick, I end up with an infection in my lungs and I'm out for like a week taking antibiotics. (Another reason to really stop smoking this time!) So I feel deflated but have a ton of stuff to do, like making sure I have plenty of work for the summer and that takes some time and effort.

Somehow, I also received the gift of many painful zits across my forehead this week. I think it is either toxins clearing out, poor diet, not washing my pillow enough or maybe just revenge from the heavens. I'm looking up natural blemish treatments because I dont have time or energy to go to Whole Foods and buy something nice and overpriced to put on these unsightly demons, and nothing I have ever used from the drugstore ever worked or did not irritate my sensitive skin.

Speaking of, what is everyone's take on sunscreen? It's like the biggest skin crime not to wear it since, I don't know, using Covergirl instead of BareMinerals?

-Which is another point I will get to in a second-
But for now. I don't trust chemical sunscreen, because 1.) I've read studies that it actually increases sun damage unless applied in a scientifically accurate manner (the details of which I have long since forgotten) and 2.) I am just waiting for the storm to sweep across the nation headlining that suncreen causes cancer like no one's business. I know there are chemical free sunscreens, and I also know that Juice Beauty produces some of them, so I guuueess I trust that. But I will not be dumping lots of toxic chemicals on my sweet young skin because Self magazine recommends Neutrogena Oil Free Sunscreen applied every ten minutes for the rest of your days or some shit.

I actually read in one of Real Simple's articles that one must choose a body moisturizer with lots of "emollients like petrolatum" in order to get the best hydration. UM, excuse moi, but isn't petrolatum and paraben, and arent paraben's the new antichrist? So you can't believe everything you read, and no matter what the trend you have GOT to listen to your gut and do your damn homework.

Anyways. After using Bare Escentuals I was in a state of excitement over this delightful product- UNTIL I found that it had begun drying my already dry skin to a flaky mess. And I will tell you why- mica. Mica is a silicate mineral that basically absorbs any hydration or oil from the skin. That is one of it's jobs- it's other major jo is to impart that glowing luminosity that Bare Minerals is known for. They don't tell you that at BareEscentuals and I was able to find out because my happy job allows me to travel and experience wonderful stores like Beauty and Main in Andover, Ma. They really know their shit, and gave me the lowdown on what was wrong. They also recommended Laura Mercier Mineral Powder because the mica is replaced with oyster shells.

I would suggest that those of you Sephora addicts take a day and visit Saghi at Beauty and Main because she can really clear up your skin dilemmas. I was very much impressed and their consultations are free and thorough. (My mom is allergic to jojoba oil and they did some research and found ALL the alternate names for jojoba so she wouldn't purchase something bad for her accidentally. And at this point she was just a walk-in customer, had not purchased anything.)

I always feel slightly in awe of establishments that offer great service because they are just so passionate about their products and line of work- this in the face of big business where the employees just want you out of their face, could give a shit about the product, and can't wait to get out of the stale reconditioned air so they can smoke a Marb light in the back of the building on their 15 minute break (and I don't blame them.)

Anyways I am back to the point where I am not craving a salt lick and could get down with a nice salad and some fresh veggies. Why do I crave the nastiest food when I am sick? Like chicken nuggets, tater tots, potato chips and cheddar cheese pretzel bits. I'll make a compromise and have Boca nuggets, tater tots, and salad with balsamic vin.

back to my cranky old self

I am happy to anounce that I am feeling better, or maybe just bored with being sick. It is a beautiful day and I can't wait to try my reel mower, which may or may not end up happening.

Yesterday I spent my time being knocked out by cold medicine, watching episodes of Dead Like Me, and looking for pictures of otters on the web. I did not even once have the energy to worry about the fact that the interest rate on my laptop payments to Best Buy went up to 25%.

However today I am very angry about that and wish there was some way to just say screw you Best Buy but obviously they have the upper hand. I hate that shit.

The Sick.

Otters actually do float around holding hands! I saw some once when I was in Montreal, and they have got to be the cutest and most playful creatures...always jumping and playing and having a GOOD TIME!

Last week I had a big decision to stop smoking. I said to myself, "Self, why don't you stop smoking. Now seems like a good time to do so, wouldn't you concur?" My brain and body overheard and had the following conversation:

Brain: SssssTOP smoking? boo! hiss!

Body: Oh yes, Brain. That's right. Prepare for a hell like no other!

Immediately after I gave it the old quit-quit, I got horribly sick. This has happened before to me, and I don't know if it is because my body knows I am getting sick and is like ix-nay on the utts-bay, farmer brown! You're gonna get a sick! Or else if it is some strange cleansing response to the decision. I definitely feel congestion in my lungs from years and years of badness, so I am grimly awaiting the reflux of it all.

Thus I am stuck on the couch craving salty potato chips and chicken soup with no hydrogenated oils, trashy magazines and chick flicks.

like an old peice of fruit

I have been thinking alot lately about the quality of my life as relates to my life's determinations. Am I really sticking to my guns, so to speak? Have I let so many things slide because, in the course of being alive and growing up, it is much "easier" to do so?

This topic could relate to any number of the composites of my little life right now, however I will stick with one point and that is the future of our planet/species and what I am doing or not doing in response to the growing everyday issues we face. Part of the problem or part of the solution? I would much prefer to be part of the solution, and that is going to take some reality checks.

For example I am in the process of doing lawnmower research. I could purchase a Toro self-propelled lawnmower for $300 or more. Or, I could purchase a Scott Reel Mower, which is a throwback from the 50's and a machine I would never have thought of purchasing- until I was pricing these silly things out and reading reviews. Reel mowers have gotten a lot of good press lately, believe it or not! They don't require gas, do a pretty good job of cutting the lawn, aren't hard to operate, don't require oil changes, and don't require as many repairs. Plus, when they break they can be fixed- the odd rock will not send it to the graveyard. So my decision is basically made, and I do feel like a granny for it and also will probably be getting my share of shit from someone else because we don't have a fancy schmancy mower, but it falls RIGHT in line with my ideals and that makes me feel good.

I am a huge proponent of doing what feels right. I don't always do this, and it all comes rushing back to me sometimes and I feel inspired to do what I believe in no matter the costs.

On another note, I was standing in the Gardner Ale House on Saturday waiting for a table and some friends, and I had this amazing moment of clarity. My vision literally changed and I thought to myself "Self, this is absolutely your life right now, and you are standing by, on hold. Every moment that goes by is one that you can experience, or you can ignore. What is it going to be, and why?"

Of course, as every day comes and goes this is not foremost on my mind, but at least I had that moment, unlike many other moments.

Forthwith

Today I felt great. For the last couple of days I have been feeling pooped and my body has been hurting, but plenty of sleep has done me well and so today was good.

I picked up some Juice Beauty (Jill, see the last testimonial re: Retin A) skincare products today at Whole Foods, where a bunch of organic asparagus costs $5.99 and a jar of imported from Italy marinara sauce is $7.99. Ok, so I am guilty of buying ONE jar of Lucini Hearty Artichoke Tomato sauce, but only to see how it compared to the usual Classico variety. I never go grocery shopping anymore, so it was really sort of fun and not frustrating this time around. I got hummus, Gone crackers, artichokes, asparagus, broccoli, lamb, and etc. of the good foodness. When I start going grocery shopping all the time, instead of ordering pizza and chinese every night, I will start to bitch about the cost of it all. May that time come sooner rather than later, because it will mean I have a snazzy new KiTcHeN to work in-YES.

EVENING menu: ground lamb, diced onions, cinnamon, salt, garlic, cumin, nutmeg cooked together, over wild rice and curried swiss chard.

Doing my homework on skincare has provided me with the information that Juice Beauty is getting kudos all over the place and Kate Hudson "swears by" their Green Apple Peel. If anyone wants to try it, by all means I will share (once). It is supposed to be great, so we shall see.

EXCITED about: the new issue of Marie Claire- their first Grrreeeen edition! Also check OrganicStyle magazine, completely online no paper involved.

BLOG of note: 1plus1 keeps up on the latest in cool junk/fashion/art/beauty that is good for the p-l-a-n-e-t.

Later.