like an old peice of fruit

I have been thinking alot lately about the quality of my life as relates to my life's determinations. Am I really sticking to my guns, so to speak? Have I let so many things slide because, in the course of being alive and growing up, it is much "easier" to do so?

This topic could relate to any number of the composites of my little life right now, however I will stick with one point and that is the future of our planet/species and what I am doing or not doing in response to the growing everyday issues we face. Part of the problem or part of the solution? I would much prefer to be part of the solution, and that is going to take some reality checks.

For example I am in the process of doing lawnmower research. I could purchase a Toro self-propelled lawnmower for $300 or more. Or, I could purchase a Scott Reel Mower, which is a throwback from the 50's and a machine I would never have thought of purchasing- until I was pricing these silly things out and reading reviews. Reel mowers have gotten a lot of good press lately, believe it or not! They don't require gas, do a pretty good job of cutting the lawn, aren't hard to operate, don't require oil changes, and don't require as many repairs. Plus, when they break they can be fixed- the odd rock will not send it to the graveyard. So my decision is basically made, and I do feel like a granny for it and also will probably be getting my share of shit from someone else because we don't have a fancy schmancy mower, but it falls RIGHT in line with my ideals and that makes me feel good.

I am a huge proponent of doing what feels right. I don't always do this, and it all comes rushing back to me sometimes and I feel inspired to do what I believe in no matter the costs.

On another note, I was standing in the Gardner Ale House on Saturday waiting for a table and some friends, and I had this amazing moment of clarity. My vision literally changed and I thought to myself "Self, this is absolutely your life right now, and you are standing by, on hold. Every moment that goes by is one that you can experience, or you can ignore. What is it going to be, and why?"

Of course, as every day comes and goes this is not foremost on my mind, but at least I had that moment, unlike many other moments.